So my original Tuesday/Thursday planned update schedule took a bit of a nose dive. I wanted to hold off on posting until after the baseball trip with my dad and some friends, and then stuff went awry. A quick heads up, this post will be quite candid; so if you don't want to read about medical stuff, stop now and check in later.
Google is evil. I'll get to that in a minute. For those that don't know me, I am 29 years old and have been losing my hair for the past few years. Being quite single I see this as a big drawback for my social/dating life (nevermind the ridiculous shyness or being slightly overweight, but that's for another post). Having tried Rogaine and finding moderate success, I went to a dermatologist after Propecia - a drug that has been proven to help men regrow hair. I began taking it (or a generic version of it called Finasteride, which is the name of the drug) about a year and a few months ago. To others my hair seemed to be thicker and fuller, though I never noticed. I guess it's because I see it every day and didn't really notice it.
Well one thing I should have done prior to taking this is to fully research the side effects. Two weeks ago I noticed that I was having some pain that is male oriented. Any guy that has been hit with a ball or bumped into a corner with their lower mid-section can relate. I attributed it to an odd moment at work when I tried to sit in my chair and it rolled out from under me and I sat down awkwardly. I didn't think much about it until the pain stayed around for a few days. I remember reading that Finasteride can cause some side effects in that general area and decided to stop taking it for a while. Then I went online....
If you're ever sick or have an odd ailment, stay off of Google. After two days of research I was convinced that I had everything under the sun, 99% of which was not even possible. Everything I read spun me deeper and deeper into a pit of anxiety and fear. On top of that, Finasteride has many side effects that don't take effect until you stop taking the medication. So as new side effects appeared I looked up those symptoms and was convinced that I had anything from simple side effects to diseases or infections that require you to get them from other people or dirty needles. (Again, not possible, and for those of you keeping score at home, that's about the 35th stupid thing I've said in this post already....but that's how my brain works. I'm a worst-case-scenario person) It was affecting my sleep, my eating, and my social habits. I finally decided to call my doctor Wednesday of last week and ask if this was normal. Since I had stopped taking the medication and the pain was subsiding, they said that's what it was and I had no reason to worry. Well telling me not to worry about something is about as useful as trying to move a concrete building by standing in front of it and breathing on it.
No matter how much I talked myself down, my worst-case-scenario brain kept convincing myself that something was really wrong. I reverted to my eight year old self and decided that I needed to go home thinking that getting out of town would do me some good, but mostly because I was scared. My family is outstanding and they were more supportive than anyone could ever ask for. After a nice relaxing weekend (it had to be, fatigue is a big side effect), I came back and called my doctor on Monday. They agreed to see me and after an agonizing hour waiting for him to show up, it was time. After having a discussion with my doctor that I will not share here (HIPPA laws and all....haha), he confirmed what I should have believed a long time ago. I'm fine. Everything that's happening is normal, and I have nothing to worry about. In a few weeks I should be back to normal. Hopefully by then I'll be able to put all of this insanity behind me, and have it fade into a distant, laughable memory.
While I'm still recovering from getting off of the medication, I'm sloooowly starting to get better. I still have waves of anxiety, but I'm getting better. To my friends who have been with me while going through this; thank you. I can't handle all the crazy myself and I appreciate you helping me manage it. To those who are reading this that don't know me at all, or all that well; I'm normally not like this. Generally I'm a much happier person who doesn't go off the deep end like this. But because it was a medical issue, I hope you can understand.
Moral of the story: if God wants me to be bald, then so be it. Also, Google can be second worst enemy, right behind your own mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment