So my original Tuesday/Thursday planned update schedule took a bit of a nose dive. I wanted to hold off on posting until after the baseball trip with my dad and some friends, and then stuff went awry. A quick heads up, this post will be quite candid; so if you don't want to read about medical stuff, stop now and check in later.
Google is evil. I'll get to that in a minute. For those that don't know me, I am 29 years old and have been losing my hair for the past few years. Being quite single I see this as a big drawback for my social/dating life (nevermind the ridiculous shyness or being slightly overweight, but that's for another post). Having tried Rogaine and finding moderate success, I went to a dermatologist after Propecia - a drug that has been proven to help men regrow hair. I began taking it (or a generic version of it called Finasteride, which is the name of the drug) about a year and a few months ago. To others my hair seemed to be thicker and fuller, though I never noticed. I guess it's because I see it every day and didn't really notice it.
Well one thing I should have done prior to taking this is to fully research the side effects. Two weeks ago I noticed that I was having some pain that is male oriented. Any guy that has been hit with a ball or bumped into a corner with their lower mid-section can relate. I attributed it to an odd moment at work when I tried to sit in my chair and it rolled out from under me and I sat down awkwardly. I didn't think much about it until the pain stayed around for a few days. I remember reading that Finasteride can cause some side effects in that general area and decided to stop taking it for a while. Then I went online....
If you're ever sick or have an odd ailment, stay off of Google. After two days of research I was convinced that I had everything under the sun, 99% of which was not even possible. Everything I read spun me deeper and deeper into a pit of anxiety and fear. On top of that, Finasteride has many side effects that don't take effect until you stop taking the medication. So as new side effects appeared I looked up those symptoms and was convinced that I had anything from simple side effects to diseases or infections that require you to get them from other people or dirty needles. (Again, not possible, and for those of you keeping score at home, that's about the 35th stupid thing I've said in this post already....but that's how my brain works. I'm a worst-case-scenario person) It was affecting my sleep, my eating, and my social habits. I finally decided to call my doctor Wednesday of last week and ask if this was normal. Since I had stopped taking the medication and the pain was subsiding, they said that's what it was and I had no reason to worry. Well telling me not to worry about something is about as useful as trying to move a concrete building by standing in front of it and breathing on it.
No matter how much I talked myself down, my worst-case-scenario brain kept convincing myself that something was really wrong. I reverted to my eight year old self and decided that I needed to go home thinking that getting out of town would do me some good, but mostly because I was scared. My family is outstanding and they were more supportive than anyone could ever ask for. After a nice relaxing weekend (it had to be, fatigue is a big side effect), I came back and called my doctor on Monday. They agreed to see me and after an agonizing hour waiting for him to show up, it was time. After having a discussion with my doctor that I will not share here (HIPPA laws and all....haha), he confirmed what I should have believed a long time ago. I'm fine. Everything that's happening is normal, and I have nothing to worry about. In a few weeks I should be back to normal. Hopefully by then I'll be able to put all of this insanity behind me, and have it fade into a distant, laughable memory.
While I'm still recovering from getting off of the medication, I'm sloooowly starting to get better. I still have waves of anxiety, but I'm getting better. To my friends who have been with me while going through this; thank you. I can't handle all the crazy myself and I appreciate you helping me manage it. To those who are reading this that don't know me at all, or all that well; I'm normally not like this. Generally I'm a much happier person who doesn't go off the deep end like this. But because it was a medical issue, I hope you can understand.
Moral of the story: if God wants me to be bald, then so be it. Also, Google can be second worst enemy, right behind your own mind.
July 27, 2011
July 12, 2011
A Midsummer Night's Classic
I love baseball.
If you don't, stay with me for a little bit. Yes, this post is all about baseball, but I hope it won't be too boring for you if you're not a fan.
Tonight is the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, and every year it reminds me of why I love baseball. There are 162 regular season games, and any one of them can be great, just as any one of them can be boring or a dud. The All-Star Game is a one-shot where they players have a good time and show why they're the best of the best that year. While the playoffs and World Series may be more intense and have better quality games, there's just something that makes the All-Star Game enjoyable to watch. Maybe it's because I don't really care who wins all that much, or maybe it's because I know there is still a lot of baseball left to be played. Whatever it is, I really like it.
Many people don't like baseball, and wonder how you can enjoy a game that, in comparison to basketball, soccer, hockey, football, etc., is significantly slower. I like to think of it this way...
In basketball, there are 4 other people moving at the same time. Setting picks and positioning themselves to get open to either take the shot or pass it to you so you can take it. Similar with hockey and soccer. In football the quarterback relies on the blockers and receivers to make their plays so they can get the first down or a touchdown. However in baseball, it's the pitcher versus the batter. One on one. Yes, there are 8 other fielders and potentially men on base. But for that brief moment before every pitch, it's just the pitcher staring down the batter; and the batter waiting patiently for the next offering. Maybe that's why kids like baseball. Kids are inherently selfish, and a sport that offers them the opportunity to be the one star has to be appealing.
Living in North Carolina all my life, we've never had a professional baseball team. Growing up in the 90's it was fashionable to be a Braves fan, but I never really latched on to them. My affiliation for a team always went with little league. The City of Rocky Mount named their teams after pro teams, and when I played for those teams I always imagined myself playing in the big leagues, with people watching my every move. I was a Pirates fan, a Reds fan, and an Athletics fan...never really knowing anything about the teams that carried the same name as my little league teams. I played for three years under a team named after the Expos, and I became a huge fan. I had hats and t-shirts, and always played as them on my baseball video games. The problem there is that they were based out of Montreal, so going to see them play was never going to happen (even when I was in Montreal for a while, sadly the team had moved to DC). I decided that I needed to find another team to pull for.
One Saturday I was over at a friend's house and when we came in from playing outside the TV happened to be on CBS Saturday Baseball (yeah, a long time ago), and the Twins were hosting the Orioles. I kept hearing these guys talk about this one player and some kind of record streak he was chasing. That was Cal Ripken, Jr. I went through my baseball cards (of which I had a ton..) and learned more about him. I watched him play and liked how he handled himself. He wasn't flashy or cocky. He just went out there and played the game. I started to follow the Orioles and have been a fan ever since.
They say that baseball is America's national past time. I believe that to be true, but I think it extends beyond that. Baseball builds relationships, mostly between fathers and sons. Look at last night's Home Run Derby. Robinson Cano asked his father to pitch to him in the contest. Before the last and winning home run, his father looked at him and said "uno mas," to which Robisnon replied "uno mas. I love you dad." After it was over they embraced on the mound, with his father grinning from ear to ear.
I have great memories of playing catch with my dad in the back yard at home, or in the field at my grandmother's house. I remember going out to the fields on Saturdays so he could help me finally judge and catch pop flys. It's just something that is taught from generation to generation. This weekend some friends of mine and I are taking a trip up to Baltimore to watch two games against the Indians, and dad is going with us. I'm beyond excited about it.
Times change. Things change. People change. Places come and places go. Friends are made and friends are lost. Baseball doesn't change. No matter how old you get, as long as the game is around it's something you can talk about.
I think this is best summed up by a quote from the movie "City Slickers." A group of guys are debating about players, when the only woman in the group scoffs about it. They ask her if she doesn't like baseball, and she says that she just can't understand how guys can sit around and talk stats or ask who played what position in what year. They ask her what her friends talk about, and she says they talk about "real life;" relationships and so forth. Daniel Stern's character reflects for a moment and then says this:
"You're right, I suppose. I mean I guess it is childish. But when I was about eighteen, and my dad and I couldn't communicate about anything at all, we could still talk about baseball. That was real."
Now I can only partially relate to this as my dad and I have a great relationship, but we do always talk about baseball. It's timeless.
Before I go and stop boring you with my baseball ramblings, I have to give a shout out to my friend Rachel; an aspiring writer with a blog of her own that is a heck of a lot better written than mine, who gave my blog a plug on her, and who also wrecked face at our last poker night. Visit her blog: I Picked Up A Pen One Day...
Thanks, have a great night, and go out to the ballpark sometime. You might actually enjoy it.
If you don't, stay with me for a little bit. Yes, this post is all about baseball, but I hope it won't be too boring for you if you're not a fan.
Tonight is the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, and every year it reminds me of why I love baseball. There are 162 regular season games, and any one of them can be great, just as any one of them can be boring or a dud. The All-Star Game is a one-shot where they players have a good time and show why they're the best of the best that year. While the playoffs and World Series may be more intense and have better quality games, there's just something that makes the All-Star Game enjoyable to watch. Maybe it's because I don't really care who wins all that much, or maybe it's because I know there is still a lot of baseball left to be played. Whatever it is, I really like it.
Many people don't like baseball, and wonder how you can enjoy a game that, in comparison to basketball, soccer, hockey, football, etc., is significantly slower. I like to think of it this way...
In basketball, there are 4 other people moving at the same time. Setting picks and positioning themselves to get open to either take the shot or pass it to you so you can take it. Similar with hockey and soccer. In football the quarterback relies on the blockers and receivers to make their plays so they can get the first down or a touchdown. However in baseball, it's the pitcher versus the batter. One on one. Yes, there are 8 other fielders and potentially men on base. But for that brief moment before every pitch, it's just the pitcher staring down the batter; and the batter waiting patiently for the next offering. Maybe that's why kids like baseball. Kids are inherently selfish, and a sport that offers them the opportunity to be the one star has to be appealing.
Living in North Carolina all my life, we've never had a professional baseball team. Growing up in the 90's it was fashionable to be a Braves fan, but I never really latched on to them. My affiliation for a team always went with little league. The City of Rocky Mount named their teams after pro teams, and when I played for those teams I always imagined myself playing in the big leagues, with people watching my every move. I was a Pirates fan, a Reds fan, and an Athletics fan...never really knowing anything about the teams that carried the same name as my little league teams. I played for three years under a team named after the Expos, and I became a huge fan. I had hats and t-shirts, and always played as them on my baseball video games. The problem there is that they were based out of Montreal, so going to see them play was never going to happen (even when I was in Montreal for a while, sadly the team had moved to DC). I decided that I needed to find another team to pull for.
One Saturday I was over at a friend's house and when we came in from playing outside the TV happened to be on CBS Saturday Baseball (yeah, a long time ago), and the Twins were hosting the Orioles. I kept hearing these guys talk about this one player and some kind of record streak he was chasing. That was Cal Ripken, Jr. I went through my baseball cards (of which I had a ton..) and learned more about him. I watched him play and liked how he handled himself. He wasn't flashy or cocky. He just went out there and played the game. I started to follow the Orioles and have been a fan ever since.
They say that baseball is America's national past time. I believe that to be true, but I think it extends beyond that. Baseball builds relationships, mostly between fathers and sons. Look at last night's Home Run Derby. Robinson Cano asked his father to pitch to him in the contest. Before the last and winning home run, his father looked at him and said "uno mas," to which Robisnon replied "uno mas. I love you dad." After it was over they embraced on the mound, with his father grinning from ear to ear.
Times change. Things change. People change. Places come and places go. Friends are made and friends are lost. Baseball doesn't change. No matter how old you get, as long as the game is around it's something you can talk about.
I think this is best summed up by a quote from the movie "City Slickers." A group of guys are debating about players, when the only woman in the group scoffs about it. They ask her if she doesn't like baseball, and she says that she just can't understand how guys can sit around and talk stats or ask who played what position in what year. They ask her what her friends talk about, and she says they talk about "real life;" relationships and so forth. Daniel Stern's character reflects for a moment and then says this:
"You're right, I suppose. I mean I guess it is childish. But when I was about eighteen, and my dad and I couldn't communicate about anything at all, we could still talk about baseball. That was real."
Now I can only partially relate to this as my dad and I have a great relationship, but we do always talk about baseball. It's timeless.
Before I go and stop boring you with my baseball ramblings, I have to give a shout out to my friend Rachel; an aspiring writer with a blog of her own that is a heck of a lot better written than mine, who gave my blog a plug on her, and who also wrecked face at our last poker night. Visit her blog: I Picked Up A Pen One Day...
Thanks, have a great night, and go out to the ballpark sometime. You might actually enjoy it.
July 7, 2011
The Physics of Quantum Fiction
One of my favorite topics to discuss/debate/wonder about is time travel. Most people know this due to my extreme fandom of the "Back to the Future" movies. I saw the first one when I was a kid and even though the opening scene with the amplifier scared me, I still loved the movie. The concept of time travel is about the most "sci-fi" that I really like. What makes it so interesting to me is that for a concept that's unproven and most likely not possible, there are so many theories and rules attached to it. Paradoxes are perhaps the biggest argument for why time travel cannot exist. The most popular example is the so-called 'Grandfather Paradox.' Let's say you traveled back in time and murdered your grandfather (morbid, I know). Well then he would have never married your grandmother, your mother or father would have never been born, you would not have been born, and thus never traveled back in time to kill your grandfather. So how can you exist to kill your grandfather if he's dead?
While I'm sure there's no perfect answer to this, it's a basic example of why people believe that time travel cannot exist. I like to think that if I ever were to travel back in time, I would need two reasons to. One of them would have to go unresolved, thus still giving me the desire to travel back in time and not creating a paradox. But that's enough of that, I'm far from a physicist and am only a fan of what might happen. It's just fun to think about to me.
Speaking of time travel, let's go back to the mid-90's, around 95/96/97 (not exactly sure which year). Summer time rolls around, and for school kids everywhere bedtimes and schedules are pretty much non-existant. For me, that meant a lot of late nights up with my brother playing games on the Sega Channel (if you don't know what that is, google it....it was way ahead of its time), or watching TV reruns with mom. USA always had a pretty decent late night lineup, and one of the shows that we watched was 'Quantum Leap.' It ran on NBC from '89-'93, and wasn't really liked by the network (see also: 'Scrubs') but loved by the fans. Basic premise is this...Dr. Sam Beckett (Scott Bakula) theorized that one could time travel within their own lifetime. He developed a project called Quantum Leap and prematurely stepped into the accelerator and vanished. (What's sad is that the name and that part of the premise tends to turn people off from the show, as it seems very heavily sci-fi.) Dr. Beckett wakes in a body that isn't his own, in a time that isn't his own. His purpose is to change the past, "putting right what once went wrong" before he can leap out to the next person. He has a guide from his own time, Al (Dean Stockwell), that only Sam can see and hear. The show did a great job of mixing drama, comedy, heart, and history.
Sam leaps into some situations that make us take a harsh look back on where we've been as a society and how far we still have to go. (When Sam leaps in he doesn't know who he is, where he is, or what he's doing. So when he leaps into an African American in 1950's Alabama and sits down at a lunch counter, this obviously causes a problem.) As a time travel fan and a fan of good story telling, this show doesn't really get any better. It's on Netflix instant viewing (mostly...some episodes are left off due to music rights or whatever reason), and I highly recommend watching a few episodes.
It's funny how some things stick with you and just the thought of them makes you sort of time travel in your mind. I watched an episode this evening, and when I was done I half expected to be sitting on the floor of our den, waiting for the next episode to come on, or going upstairs to join Josh in a game of Earthworm Jim or Monopoly or whatever was new on the Sega Channel, or have him explain the Pokemon card game to me yet again.
The saddest realization is when I actually do "leap back" and realize that those days are over, and that the feeling is just a fleeting memory, gone by much too fast, just like that time as well...
"...so do we pass the ghosts that haunt us later in our lives; they sit undramatically by the roadside like poor beggars, and we see them only from the corners of our eyes, if we see them at all. The idea that they have been waiting there for us rarely if ever crosses our minds. Yet they do wait, and when we have passed, they gather up their bundles of memory and fall in behind, treading in our footsteps and catching up, little by little." - Stephen King
That's all I have for now. So why haven't I leaped yet, Ziggy?
While I'm sure there's no perfect answer to this, it's a basic example of why people believe that time travel cannot exist. I like to think that if I ever were to travel back in time, I would need two reasons to. One of them would have to go unresolved, thus still giving me the desire to travel back in time and not creating a paradox. But that's enough of that, I'm far from a physicist and am only a fan of what might happen. It's just fun to think about to me.
Sam leaps into some situations that make us take a harsh look back on where we've been as a society and how far we still have to go. (When Sam leaps in he doesn't know who he is, where he is, or what he's doing. So when he leaps into an African American in 1950's Alabama and sits down at a lunch counter, this obviously causes a problem.) As a time travel fan and a fan of good story telling, this show doesn't really get any better. It's on Netflix instant viewing (mostly...some episodes are left off due to music rights or whatever reason), and I highly recommend watching a few episodes.
It's funny how some things stick with you and just the thought of them makes you sort of time travel in your mind. I watched an episode this evening, and when I was done I half expected to be sitting on the floor of our den, waiting for the next episode to come on, or going upstairs to join Josh in a game of Earthworm Jim or Monopoly or whatever was new on the Sega Channel, or have him explain the Pokemon card game to me yet again.
The saddest realization is when I actually do "leap back" and realize that those days are over, and that the feeling is just a fleeting memory, gone by much too fast, just like that time as well...
"...so do we pass the ghosts that haunt us later in our lives; they sit undramatically by the roadside like poor beggars, and we see them only from the corners of our eyes, if we see them at all. The idea that they have been waiting there for us rarely if ever crosses our minds. Yet they do wait, and when we have passed, they gather up their bundles of memory and fall in behind, treading in our footsteps and catching up, little by little." - Stephen King
That's all I have for now. So why haven't I leaped yet, Ziggy?
July 5, 2011
So I started a blog. Here's why...
Hello world!
I have decided that having an active Facebook profile and being involved with a group of friends just isn't enough to satisfy my vanity, so I started a blog. Actually, there are a few reasons that I wanted to start a blog. The main reason is that I really like putting random thoughts on a page, and constantly updating my Facebook status just doesn't seem to fit, and I really only use Twitter to follow people and retweet random crap, so this seems like a pretty good medium to use.
Another reason I wanted to start a blog came from an idea from a website that I don't think I could pull off or run efficiently. A while back (a few months or so ago) I was going through my iPod and finding some albums that I hadn't listened to in a while (I listen to a lot of music while at work, so old stuff seemed to be a good idea). I came across the album "Mad Season" by matchbox twenty. When it first came out in 2000, a friend of mine told me it wasn't all that good, and outside of the singles I wasn't really impressed with the album. However when I listened to it again, I found that my opinion of it had changed over the years and I really enjoyed it. That led me to think about other forms of media that could have aged better over time. I thought about gathering these 10+ year old items and "re-reviewing" them for today to see if they hold up, get better, or fizzle out. Problem is that to run a site like that takes several contributors, web space and hosting and a ton of time to put into it, and while I may revisit this someday (maybe in 10 years, ha), but for now I think I'll use the blog as my retro review site. Also, I like the phrase "mad season" because it always seems like the time you're in now is the most crazy....so you're always in a mad season.
Outside of that, I may ramble on about this or that...post some interesting song lyrics or a quote from a TV show, movie or book that I find interesting. It should always be different and have the reader guessing. I hope I can pull that off.
So let's recap. What will you find here? Random thoughts, quotes, old movie/game reviews, and hopefully something that will make you smile. And since I said I like to quote stuff, here's one from one of my favorite shows, "Scrubs:"
"...we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang onto our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that it's all about the people that you let into your life."
I don't think I could have said it any better.
I have decided that having an active Facebook profile and being involved with a group of friends just isn't enough to satisfy my vanity, so I started a blog. Actually, there are a few reasons that I wanted to start a blog. The main reason is that I really like putting random thoughts on a page, and constantly updating my Facebook status just doesn't seem to fit, and I really only use Twitter to follow people and retweet random crap, so this seems like a pretty good medium to use.
 |
| Give it another listen... |
Another reason I wanted to start a blog came from an idea from a website that I don't think I could pull off or run efficiently. A while back (a few months or so ago) I was going through my iPod and finding some albums that I hadn't listened to in a while (I listen to a lot of music while at work, so old stuff seemed to be a good idea). I came across the album "Mad Season" by matchbox twenty. When it first came out in 2000, a friend of mine told me it wasn't all that good, and outside of the singles I wasn't really impressed with the album. However when I listened to it again, I found that my opinion of it had changed over the years and I really enjoyed it. That led me to think about other forms of media that could have aged better over time. I thought about gathering these 10+ year old items and "re-reviewing" them for today to see if they hold up, get better, or fizzle out. Problem is that to run a site like that takes several contributors, web space and hosting and a ton of time to put into it, and while I may revisit this someday (maybe in 10 years, ha), but for now I think I'll use the blog as my retro review site. Also, I like the phrase "mad season" because it always seems like the time you're in now is the most crazy....so you're always in a mad season.
Outside of that, I may ramble on about this or that...post some interesting song lyrics or a quote from a TV show, movie or book that I find interesting. It should always be different and have the reader guessing. I hope I can pull that off.
So let's recap. What will you find here? Random thoughts, quotes, old movie/game reviews, and hopefully something that will make you smile. And since I said I like to quote stuff, here's one from one of my favorite shows, "Scrubs:"
"...we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang onto our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone, anyone, feel a little better. After that it's all about the people that you let into your life."
I don't think I could have said it any better.
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